Wanted: Reliable legal assistant to start immediately
Description: Selecting my spring elective courses, doing my reading assignments and providing me with concise, accurate summaries, so that I don't look like an idiot in class, taking my exams, being my personal designated driver, and anything else I tell you to do. Experience taking law school exams a plus. Must be smarter than me. Must have own reliable transportation. Must guarantee me a 4.0 GPA and perform all of my subsequent duties as editor-in-chief of the law review.
Salary: Free drinks on Bar Review nights (limited to 2- I said you were going to be required to drive my drunk ass home, remember?), an unlimited supply of flash drives, highlighters, pens, and sticky notes, and various assorted pieces of candy will be awarded as bonuses for exemplary performance.
Inquire within.
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